Red tape

Well we are experiencing what is known as red tape. Our MD approved our family friend as an egg donor, however she will have to go through the same physical and psychiatric counseling as any other donor. Seems simple enough right? Now comes the red tape. Our therapist believes that 19 is too young to make informed consent. The ASRM (American Society of Reproductive Medicine) says that you must be 18, but they recommend that you be 21 to donate. There are donor agencies that accept 19 year old donors, so the practice is not that uncommon.

Our therapist, whom we happened to like quite a bit, has said she thinks this is a bad idea primarily because of her age, but in addition to that she just seems to believe known donors who are not family members are a bad idea. I have spoke with our donor at length about a litany of issues including possible physical complications including hyperstimulation syndrome, future fertility issues, anticipated relationship with our child etc....I have found her to be remarkably mature and thoughtful in her answers and thought processes.

There are other issues that must be considered, namely time and money. We have already been cleared for egg donation at our clinic, transferring to another clinic would be costly. Also, I do not want to spend so much time wound up in red tape that we delay the process.

I have telephoned 6 other therapists in our area. After explaining the situation to them, I will listen to see if they are all as negative in evaluating our prospective donor. If they all seem quite negative, perhaps we will go with an anonymous donor at our clinic.

Sigh...such frustrations!

Wish us luck!