Planning

I am reading a book called PERFECT HORMONE BALANCE FOR PREGNANCY and
it has a lot of good ideas of how to get yourself ready for a cycle. I
feel so often like I am so out of control of the happenings related to
my fertility. For this cycle I am definitely going to make an effort
to be a bigger part of the decision process. That process starts with
the exercise chose to partake in and the foods I choose to take into
my body each day.

I also am busy investigating FET cycles so that when I meet with my RE
in August to plan the next cycle, I am ready to discuss all the
questions I have and to be a part of the planning process.
I would so love to get pregnant with twins this time and donate the remaining 3
to someone who desperately wants them.

New name for the girls list

We like the name Meredith. One of my most favorite cheeky singers is Meredith Brooks so I think it would have to be after her. The thing is I do not like the name Mary and I am afraid people would want to call her that. If I could think of a good nickname for Meredith, it would definitely be in the running.

Any suggestions?

Number of embryos to transfer

We have 5 frozen blasts. According to ASRM:
In donor egg cycles, the age of the donor should be
used to determine the appropriate number of embryos
to transfer.

Also it says:
For patients with 2 or more previous failed IVF
cycles or a less favorable prognosis, additional embryos
may be transferred according to individual
circumstances after appropriate consultation.

Since we have 2 failed attempts, I am inclined to ask the RE to place
3 of the 5 we have during this transfer. Normally the RE would only
transfer 2.

Natural vs. medicated FET

Our fresh cycle was lost due to low progesterone. The question of
course being was it low because of chromosomal problems or low
because of inadequate progesterone supplementation?

We are meeting with out RE on August 22nd and in preparing for the
meeting I have been reading about the 2 types of cycles and all the
clinical trials I have read there is no statistical difference in the
ongoing pregnancy results.

I have always had regular 26 day cycles. I have not had a FSH done in
awhile but I do know I produced a huge ovulatory cyst with the last
cycle that delayed my fresh transfer by one week (23mm I believe)so I
am definitely still ovulating!

I feel like I would like to try the natural cycle since my 2 fresh
cycles that were medicated were not successful. I am surely not
opposed to using supplemental progesterone along with the natural
cycle, but somehow having my own functioning corpus luteum sounds
preferable.

What next?

After the sadness this summer, we plan on waiting until the fall to try again. I am planning a trip with my Mom, sister, and Aunt to celebrate my Mom's 60th and my 40th birthdays. After the trip in October, we plan on doing a frozen embryo transfer at that point.

For now we will focus on getting Katie ready for 8th grade.

Also some emotional, spiritual, and physical healing.

Keep up the good wishes and prayers, they are helping to get us through!

Happy Birthday Husband

My husband turned 37 on July 17th. For his birthday he had to deal with a crying spouse, help get a flat tire changed on her van, and stay at home for dinner. Not to mention the fact that he too was grieving the loss of our pregnancy just 3 days earlier. Also, one of his gifts was a Monty Python DVD set that he had owned previously and unbeknownst to me he had donated it to charity (oh well I tried)

On the bright side I did make him some yummy cookies. He also got a new GPS because his stopped working and a nice new walletini pen from Levenger's to go with his Father's Day present!

When Katie returns we will plan a dinner with cake for him! Poor sweetheart, I love you, Happy Birthday!

Things are getting better

Getting back to work has really been a blessing. I was so afraid to see everyone's sad faces. To hear the I'm sorrys, to have people whisper and stare. Of course it is a catch-22 if nobody mentioned anything I would feel like nobody cared.

The first day there were a lot of tears. Then it started getting better. Today I was almost back to myself and i did not cry one time.

The bleeding has also almost ceased, which in itself has increased my mood.

Each day is a little better.

I saw my therapist and had my blood drawn. My HCG dropped to 117 which is great over one week. After it returns to normal (below 5) then we can consider this cycle over and hopefully return to normal.

One week ago

One week ago today I was still pregnant. I was just returning from a fabulous cruise and I was ready to jump back into work feet first. Tonight I am wrapped in a blanket and fearful of leaving the house. It is safe here.

Tomorrow I have to return to work. Although I am sure my office mates are handling things wonderfully in my absence, I still need to be there. Otherwise, I may fall so deeply into my own wounds that I never heal.

Still the blood comes, serving as a constant reminder of what we have lost and how we continue to suffer. The tears continue in vain to cleanse the dark spot the has appeared on my soul. There are not words to communicate my grief.

Pray for my family and pray for me,

Theresa

Sad update

I am sad to report we miscarried the pregnancy on Monday. We just got the call today that does indeed indicate the numbers are declining. The good news is we still have 5 frozen embryos and we can try again when we are ready. We are so lucky to be surrounded by so many people who love and support us.

Back from vacation

We are back from vacation! We spent much time relaxing and taking it easy. I have been SO Tired, I believe I slept at least 14 hour a day on the cruise. I only got nauseated a couple of time. Once was after an especially rough tender ride in Cabo San Lucas, so all and all not too bad at all.


I will check in with the MD via phone tomorrow and I am scheduled for an ultrasound on Friday.

I will let you know how things go!

Email from my 8 year old niece!

hi aunt theresa



i heard about your babys





what i'm hopeing for twins





JUST KEEP THEM # GOING UP.





i love you - but i'm hopping for is a new couin





i love you









makayla



hill

352 today

this is the last test before the ultrasound! We are so happy things seems to be progressing nicely. Two weeks from today is the ultrasound!

Theresa

153

The magic number was 100 and we are well passed it! Hooray!!

Thanks to all who were sending good wishes!

We are so excited! Hooray!

Official Beta Today

If the beta today is 100, we will be on our way. As you may remember in the last cycle, we had a positive beta that failed to double every 2 days as expected. Since Mondays beta was 50, it is expected that today we should be somewhere around 100.

I will post when I hear! We are so nervous and excited. It is hard to let yourself get excited when you know at any minute the rug can be swept out from under your feet, but today is a huge hurdle to pass on our way to winning the race.

Continue to pray and keep the good thoughts coming!