Sex Ed and the 7th grader

My daughter has had sex education at school every year since the 5th grade. This week I had to sign the permission slip allowing her to attend.

Although she understands most of what is going on with us, but prefers not to discuss it.....with anyone...ever. So imagine what fun she had completing 3 workbook pages with me this evening. She said you know this stuff you can help me, but then would grunt and say do not say the words unless I do not know them. Something about your Mom saying testes makes most 12 year olds want to cringe. When I asked her what was the other word that boys use to refer to their testes she was in a fit of giggles when she answered "balls" I guess hoping she would say testicles was too much to ask!

Progesterone Injections

For those of you who have never been through IVF or egg donations, one of the highlights of the entire experience is when your Dear Husband (DH) gets to give you progesterone injections in your booty. The only nice part of this is the recommendation that the site be rubbed for 10 minutes after the injection so the oil does not leave lumps in the muscle and heat should be applied to aid absorption. This my DH has done quite faithfully, however he does time it for exactly 10 minutes.

I am a nurse and my DH is a software engineer so you can imagine how happy we were to step into this new phase of the fertility journey.

For those of you who know my DH this also has significantly high humor value. He is very technical and likes specific directions and wants to know what to expect. He does not do well when the unexpected happens. Here are just a few of the situations in which he has found himself over the last few days.

One night he removed the needle and immediately poked himself in the finger. He gave my shot with blood dripping from his own finger.

One night a trickle of blood came from the injection site, he stopped the flow of blood with his finger, not the same night that he had the bloody finger.

One night the progesterone and oil erupted from the injection site like a geyser, he damned that leak with his finger as well.

One night the injection left a nasty bruise, which he thought was his fault because he did not rub it for the full 10 minutes and apply the heat as recommended.

I have to say, he has done much better than I could have hoped, but my hips are getting a bit sore now. I have actually flinched to hard that I thought for sure that the needle must have been pulled out.

If we are pregnant the injections continue for a total of about 12 weeks, if not they weill stop after the beta HCG (blood pregnancy test). Wish us luck as we continue our journey!

Bottoms up!

Signs you might be pregnant...or not

My boobs hurt because I am pregnant vs my boobs hurt because I have been poking them so much to see if they hurt.

I have a cramp in my gut because I am pregnant vs I have a cramp because I had burritos for lunch.

I am nauseated because I am pregnant vs I am feeling sick because I am hungry.

I am moody because I am pregnant vs I am moody because I am frequently that way the week before my period

I am fatigued because I am pregnant vs I am tired because my stress level in incredibly high and I am now working 4 ten hour days every week (oh yeah and because I am lazy!)

I am constipated because I am pregnant vs I am irregular because I am eating crappy food and not riding my exercise bike.

I have heartburn because I am pregnant vs. I have heartburn because I should be taking my Pepcid prescription twice a day as it is written.


So basically I might be pregnant...... or not!

Well that was a complete waste of my time!

Time Change

My sister Dawn lives in Georgia. The time change is 3 hours later. Now that she has gone home I miss her, even though I already talked to her today. That is not enough because I am now used to talking to her until I am ready for bed. I wonder if she would mind if Icall her now at 9:11 Pacific time anyway?

Sigh!

Fun with pee-on-a-stick

This web site is so cool
http://www.peeonastick.com/hpts.html
it compares brands of pregnancy tests and their sensitivity

If that leave you wanting more check out http://www.twoweekwait.com/peesticks/index.php?cat=2
It shows actual home pregnancy test results at varying days past ovulation and you can watch the lines growing progressively darker as the days go by!

This site is not to be confused with http://www.hotdogonastick.com/

I know, I am one sick mother!

To test or not to test....

Discharge instructions also advise us not to do home pregnancy tests. I am not sure I am going to be able to follow this request. As noted in my previous post I already have them scheduled into my calendar of things to do over the next 9 days.

According to all my unscientific research, the earliest anyone has tested positive was 6 DPO (6 days past ovulation). Even that seems a little early to me i was thinking of waiting until day 7 at least! The blood pregnancy test is on the 6th of February, but why not have some fun in the meantime I say!

Reasons not to test include added stress and expense. Is not knowing more stressful than knowing? I think not. Then there is the issue of expense. Well I have that solved too, according to the highly rigorous standards of research at www.peeonastick.com :

"Pregnancy tests are like soda: they cost pennies to manufacture, but the resale markup is huge. In this case, the low price really is a great deal! Many women have reported accurate early detection with these $1 bargains. I have experimented with many of them myself and have never seen a false positive. Some have faint evaporation lines, but most tests do. So long as you know what an evap line looks like and how it differs from a true positive, save your money and shop at Dollar Tree!"

Now if I can just get up the nerve to go into the Dollar Tree and buy 10 pregnancy tests!

The Dreaded 2 Week Wait!

We are now experiencing the 2 week wait. We are waiting to see if we are indeed pregnant. If all goes well our little embies will continue to to grow, hatch out of their shells, and implant into the lining of the uterus. Then HCG will be released into the blood stream causing a pregnancy test to come back positive. During this time we are supposed to relax and let nature take over.

Well that is all good and well except, you can't do a darn thing to relax. Upon Discharge I received my Post Embryo Transfer Instructions Sheet. The list of things to avoid during the 2 week wait include: Caffiene, alcohol, tobacco, illegal drugs, exercise, sex or any other strenuous activity including riding my exercise bike, and worst of all no baths! I thought I was supposed to be relaxing?

Interestingly, there is no restriction on psychotic-like web surfing to uncover the causes for everything that has, will, and could go wrong during fertilization and implantation of an embryo.

Our first photo

Here is what the embryologist saw this morning when he looked under the microscope.
I brought these little ones home with me, aren't they cute?

With any luck on or about October 15, 2008 we will be taking them home again for good!
Say prayers, and think good thoughts!

Theresa

Schedule of events....

Today (Saturday)...sit on my booty
Tomorrow (Sunday)....see Saturday
Monday......Start moving around
Tuesday....back to work
Wednesday-Friday...see Tuesday

Saturday-Fret over the waiting time
Sunday Feb 3rd-start abusing home pregnancy tests obsessively
Monday-Tuesday-see Sunday
Wednesday-official Blood pregnancy test

Only then can we call me officially pregnant!

Welcome home little embryos....

Welcome to your home our two little embryos. I hope you are warm, happy, and comfortable. Matthew, Katie, and I are very excited and hope that you are able to stay for a long time. If you can not stay, we understand and we know that you did your best and that is all we could ever ask. You have given us hope for the future. If you can stay, we also promise to do our best. We may not be the most normal family and we are certain to embarrass you from time to time, but we promise to always love you.

HUGS!

Mommy, Daddy, and Katie

PS-Boca and Claude are here too, you are gonna love them!

Raw chicken ritual

Sister-in-law will you perform the raw chicken fertility ritual for us? Or was that the ritual that keeps the in-laws away? No, wait that was the sticky raw chicken ritual. I keep getting them mixed up!

Make that 2 excellent eggies.....

Well our two embryos are growing. This group of eggs are already showing true Laubach characteristics. There are the truly difficult ones and then the over-achievers. The difficult ones are no longer a part of the picture. The over-achievers and yes there are still two of them, are the highest grade. One is a 4 cell and one is a 5 cell embryo today. The transfer will take place tomorrow at 11:00 AM. Once again any thoughts prayers or good wishes are appreciated!

This could be perfect, exactly what we need and no extras to worry about.

Keep good thoughts.


Theresa

1 little, 2 little, 3 little eggies

Well like the super-star that she is, Dawn made 9 eggs for us. She really is a trooper and she tolerated the procedure very well. We can never repay her for the gift that she gave us.

Well that was the best news....


Here is the follow-up of the nine:

2 are developing appropriately
2 are growing but as of this morning had not yet developed polar bodies, we will know more about them tomorrow
1 was over-developed and was not fertilized
the remainder did not survive


There will be nothing left to freeze and because of the low numbers, we will have a 3 day transfer on Saturday to be safe.

I keep telling myself we only need one, but I am a little sad because this makes it all or nothing.

Pray that the 2 continue to thrive...I will keep you posted!

Impending ovulation....

Wake up you little gametes...

At 8:00 pm Dawn had her "trigger shot" of HCG which brings the eggs to final maturity. Exactly 36 hours later, the retrieval will be done. (quickly does time calculations) Yes at 8:00 am Wednesday morning we will know exactly how many eggs we have with which to work. All the friends and family out there please send baby love our way at that time.

Today when the doctor called my tummy was all jittery and my hands all shakey. I am the eager child straining to hear Santa and his reindeer on the roof on Christmas Eve Night. Christmas is coming, it's practically here!

For those who are doing the math, any egg fertilized on January 23rd should be due 38 weeks later on October 15, 2008. Our wedding anniversary! This feels miraculous and magical. Wish us luck!

Another ultrasound and another day....

Everything is going great, at least 2 follicles are over 20mm today and several are over 15mm. She is having what could be her final stimulating injection and Lupron injection tonight.

We will know more tomorrow, this day to day waiting is killing me!

Hopping Down the Baby Trail.....

One of my co-workers referred to my sister as the Easter Bunny. With all the eggs she is carrying, I think it is most appropriate!

Let's hope it is a hippety-hoppety happy implantation day!

Oh my oh my......

Well that Follistim is sure working, there were 15 follicles, now there are 23 growing in there. The doctor thinks that we should get at least a dozen or so eggs from all those follicles. How exciting is that?

So first guess from the MD is she will retrieve on Tuesday or Wednesday. The RN in the office says no she thinks it will be later in the week. So who do we believe the all knowing MD or the infinitely wise RN? LOL, you know my answer but we will have to wait and see.

Our next appt is Sunday, and we will know more then!

All your love and support is appreciated!

Not mine?

Interestingly, I found out that I have no legal rights to the embryos in the case of a divorce because they do not contain my gametes.

I find this fascinating since I am the one who has taken the birth control pills that caused me to bleed for 6 weeks, and the Lupron injections that give me headaches and night sweats, I am the one who has had all the ultrasounds, I have to have the progesterone injections, take the steroids, take the antibiotics, have the embryos put back into me.....but they are not mine because they do not have my gametes? They are my family genetic material, they came from MY SISTER! Did I mention my insurance is helping to pay for the procedure?

Insert huge eye roll here.....

Signed, sealed, and delivered

In case any of you were worrying about the consents, they were finally appropriately signed, sealed, and delivered at my Monday morning appointment this week. Which is important since we already started the procedure and medications.


I swear nurses (and their families) are the worst patients.

12+3=Baby

Great news, the are 15 potential eggs growing right now in my wonderful sister's ovaries. One of which may be our child! She has 12 growing on the left and 3 on the right....that makes sense though because she has never been quite right!

For all her hard work, what does she get? She gets to increase her dose of Follisitim! Her husband is taking her to the airport tomorrow, before she gets too nutty.

Keep the prayers, well wishes, good thoughts, rabbit foot kissing, Buddah belly rubbing going!

Breathing envy....

It has come to my attention that one of the ladies from my mind body class is reading this blog. No pressure here, but not only was she the teacher's pet, she also was the star breather. Oh no it was not Danielle who had to be reminded to come back to the breath...or not. She sat perfectly in her YOGA positions and let the oxygen massage her ovaries. How do I know this? Because I spied on her! I think maybe Ken, our baby guru, had a crush on her...or not.

Well obviously she did something right, because she was the first member of the class to get pregnant and have a baby! (I told you she was the star pupil)

PS-Danielle send pictures of the beautiful baby so Matthew and I can see her!

Where we are in the cycle now...

Dawn has started her stimulating drugs. These drugs will encourage all the the resting follicles in her ovaries to begin producing eggs.

She is taking a drug called Follistim, unlike the Bravelle that I took-in which the FSH came from highly purified urine of post-menopausal women, Follistim is made from recombinant DNA technology. I am not sure if I would rather have post-menopausal woman urine or something genetically altered that was derived from Chinese hamsters** see below, but either way it gets the job done I suppose.

Of course there are always risks with any medication. We are not going to talk about any of those because we are praying that none of them actually occur.

Dawn will take this drug for anywhere from 8-12 days depending on how her ovaries respond. She will be monitored by ultrasound until the follicles are big enough to begin final maturation.

Her drug dose will be increased or decreased depending on how many and how fast the follicles develop.

She also will continue the Lupron which will suppress ovulation until the follicles are ready.


I also will continue Lupron to suppress ovulation, Estrace to build up the lining of the uterus, and baby aspirin-why a baby aspirin you may ask? Evidently it helps with blood flow to the Placenta*** see below


We are both taking our vitamins, and hoping for the best. I have an Estrogen level tomorrow morning, and Dawn has her first Follostim monitoring ultrasound Wednesday!

That's all for now....thanks for reading!


**http://www.follistim.com/Images/FollistimAQCartridge_PhysicianPrescribingInfo_tcm643-169242.pdf
***baby aspirin may help keep placental blood vessels open. It is already frequently prescribed for this purpose much later in pregnancy, for women with preeclampsia -- a pregnancy disorder associated with high blood pressure and protein in the urine. It is thought that this condition occurs when the blood vessels constrict too much because of an imbalance between two compounds in the body -- one that causes blood vessels to constrict, and another that causes blood vessels to dilate. The use of a single baby aspirin daily blocks the vascular-constricting compound, while not interfering with the compound that promotes placental blood flow.

How you can tell your sister loves you!

She buys a new toilet seat for your visit!

(that or you know that your sister's toilet seat needed replaced and your visit was the perfect excuse to do it!)

Getting ready for guests

One day when we were at church, our minister asked the children, "how do you get ready for guests?" My child does not miss a beat and replies, clean the house. Well the difference between family and guests has to be...you do not have to clean the house for family! They love you even if you are a bit of a slob at heart.

I did clean out the frig for her though, so I have not lost all self-respect. There would be nothing worse than someone asking, "what is this in your frig?" and you having no earthly idea.

Leaving the RED TENT

After what has seemed like an endless 6 weeks, I am happy to report I have now left the RED TENT and returned what I very loosely call normal. I will never complain about 7 day cycles again! Well maybe I will, but deep inside I will know it could be and has been much worse!

Pokes and Probes

It has come to my attention that some of my blog readers think the blog may be a bit graphic....well I got news for you folks, if you think it is difficult to read this stuff, try living it!

Take today's post for example, pokes and probes, well what do you suppose that might mean? Well they sure didn't tickle me and ask me thoughtful questions. Continue reading at your own risk!

Today we had to verify that my blood estrogen level was acceptable to start the cycle which explains the poking. I would not usually mind this but when two people greeted me to draw my blood, I should have known what that meant. The young lady who prepared to draw my blood was trembling slightly and touched every one of her supplies nervously then scrubbed her hands very thoroughly. the other lady made casual conversation and stood by watching carefully. I offered cheerfully, it is right there by the freckle, you can't miss it! I am not sure if I was trying to convince myself or her. She put on the tourniquet and felt....and felt....and felt....then she looked at the other lady and said this is the part I always.....always what? I wondered because she did not finish the sentence. the other lady felt by the freckle and said it is right there, it is just deep. You know what deep is code for...stick the needle way in! Anyway, I should not complain she got it on the first stick, I just was not full of confidence. When the blood started to fill the tube I looked at the other lady and winked, code for she did not kill me and believe it or not it worked. She gave me a smile and a thumbs up!

Next, we went for the probing. We needed to make sure that my ovaries were listening to the Lupron and not allowing any eggs to mature. (I know that other parts of my body are listening to the Lupron because I have a constant dull headache and each night I find myself all hot and sweaty. Now do not get me wrong I am not against getting hot and sweaty, I just prefer not to wake up from a sound sleep in a puddle). Also we need to check the lining of my uterus and make sure it is thinned out and ready to begin the next wondrous cycle of womanliness!

Later in the day I get a phone call letting me know that all my tests were fine and I can start taking Estrogen and baby aspirin, and of course continue the Lupron injections, and take your prenatal vitamin (should I take 2 Prozac I wonder?). We are ready to start rebuilding that lining and preparing a soft place for our child to spend the next 9 months!

And now, we are officially starting the donor egg cycle! Everything we have done up until now has been preparing us for this cycle.

Good thoughts, prayers, and wishes of good luck are always welcome! Cross your fingers too!

Consent forms

Nurses are the worst patients. The last thing we have to do is get the consent forms signed and turned into the fertility clinic. Now this sounds easy enough, EXCEPT for the fact that they have to either be witnessed by the fertility clinic staff or be notarized. Since we both work full-time and the clinic case managers had the nerve to be off on New Year's Day when we both showed up together to sign them....geezy!

Last week we attempted to get the form notarized. This would have worked except that notice that the word form is singular in that sentence. I did not realize there were 3 forms we needed notarized. Yes, OK I am not the brightest crayon in the box, but at least the one form I did sign I initialed all the boxes, unlike my darling husband.

You would think between all our degrees, awards, and experiences that one of us would have enough sense to get this accomplished successfully.

We may be cracking up under the pressure here.

Last BCP!

No more of the dreaded BCPs! Hooray!! I am so excited I could scream.

Perhaps I will take the remaining pills and place them on the back porch and watch them melt in the storm!
Or maybe I will crush them into a fine powder and scatter them in the Bay.
Or maybe I will put them in the driveway and run them over with the minivan 20-30 times.

Yes that is it, I knew I needed a minivan for something!

Thankful

We really have so much for which we should be thankful.

Near the top of our list, has to be the family and friends who have supported us as we have been on this journey.

To Katie: who has been through each day with us, tolerating her Mom's mood swings, and even tolerating her Mom's embarrassing stock piles of infertility drugs in the frig. You are an awesome child baby girl, and if we are lucky enough to have another baby, you will be an awesome big sister. Struggling to understand yourself at 12 is often difficult, but struggling to understand this complicated world of assisted fertility is even more challenging. Thanks so much for loving us and being patient with us. Thanks also for the tremendous joy and love you have brought to our family. Any child would be honored to call you sister.

To my co-workers: You spend more hours of the day with me than my own family does. You have seen me at my best and at my worst. You have shared in my hopes, wiped away my tears, given me much needed hugs, and know more than you ever cared to know about my anatomical and emotional defects. Thanks so much!

To my family: Boy we are not in Ohio anymore are we? I know this is way outside of the comfort zone for many of you, but not once have a I heard a negative remark. There has been nothing but love, and hope, and support given. In our neck of the woods, family is family and it does not matter how dysfunctional or untraditional we are, we still love one another. Aunt Patty has already bought the new baby an outfit and make a blanket for him/her. This is the kind of hope and love I know my family gives. Thanks so much to all of you.

To my in-laws: thanks to those of you have embraced us and held out your hands to help us down this path. For those in the Bay Area all your support is greatly appreciated, I promise to call when I need you, whether you believe me or not! To those of you who struggle with the implications of assisted fertility, may God open your hearts to the joy and love of a new life.

To my little sister, Dawn. Wow sister this is big. Had I known when you were carrying my dolls around by the hair of the head, that you would be giving me a gift so precious I swear I would never had complained! You are incredible. I am not even sure we can comprehend a gift of love such as this. Sisters, Aunts, and Mothers we have shared these roles for many years, but never in such an intimate manner. I love you and and even if this does not work out in the way that we hoped, I will never forget the way you so willingly gave of yourself so that Matthew and I could have a child. We both love you dearly!

Thanks to God. I have not always been the best child, but I know that ultimately this decision is yours. We try so hard to control every aspect of our lives, help us to accept the future, whatever it is. Help us also to remember we are already blessed beyond measure.

HUGS TO ALL!

Theresa & Matthew

Stats for the truly curious!

Here is a quote from my clinics web site....

Risks of Egg Donation

In addition to the usual risks of IVF, approximately 15% of these pregnancies will miscarry, and 25% of egg donation pregnancies result in multiple births (twins or triplets). The success rates are better than pregnancy rates in IVF cycles using a woman’s own eggs

Chance of multiple births

Everything in the literature says there is an increased risk of multiple births with donor eggs. For our sake I hope it is just one. Not because I am opposed to twins, I just think it would be impossible for us to pick out 2 names. It is a struggle just to figure out one!

When you have a husband who chooses names like Wolfgang and Sheherizod, you can understand my plight!

Really I would not mind two as long as I get to name them both!

I almost forgot!

Last night I got ready for bed, casually chatting with my husband about my vitamins. We got into bed and turned out the lights and then suddenly it hit me....My shot! I sat straight up and my husband looked at me like I was crazy. I repeated, "my shot, I forgot my shot". I went traipsing through the house to gather the medication I had tucked away after I picked it up from the pharmacy a couple of weeks ago. After all this waiting, and build-up, I can't believe I almost forgot to take my first shot.

BTW, Lupron is so much nicer than the stimulating medications. I barely felt the injection into my belly, but afterwards it itched like a little bug bite. No side effects yet. So far so good!

Psychiatric Evaluations

For anyone who actually knows the four of us.....Me, Matthew, Dawn, and Ron.....the fact that we were evaluated by a professional and judged as being mentally sound is a miracle in itself. This too may be additional evidence that some divine intervention has taken place.

My biggest fear was the woman was going to say...no way...you are all way to crazy to bring a child into this world together....what were you thinking!

She basically asked us questions to be sure we had thought through this entire process and had realistic expectations of what could occur.

I do worry though that if we are not successful that it could be devastating emotionally for all. We have a 50/50 chance, which is better than the 25% I had alone...still....

As we're off.......

Today is the first day of injections. Dawn and I both will start taking Lupron injections into our belly. This sounds worse than it actually is, it is a little stick followed by a slight burn, the trick is psyching yourself up to doing it!

Info for the the scientific among us:

Lupron acts by suppressing the pituitary gland (which is normally responsible for triggering ovulation). However, before suppression occurs, Lupron may briefly stimulate the pituitary causing an increase in the pituitary hormones LH (luteinizing hormone) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone). This is called the agonist or flare. For this reason, it is usually given for a few weeks before starting the other fertility medications. This allows us to “get past” the stimulation phase and into the suppression or desensitization phase.

Using birth control pills

The problems with Lupron can also be reduced by first starting a woman on birth control pills. The pills can be given for variable lengths of time but at least for 10 days. The Lupron can be started at any point after the fifth day. Once started, the birth control pills would be continued for five additional days and then stopped.

Which explains why I had to take those damn BCPs for the last few weeks! They are over Friday though. I hope that when they are over I will stop having this pimple problem as well.


Oh the things we do to ourselves for the sake of motherhood!