How complicated can this be? We started with our fertility clinic's donor pool. I looked mostly at women who had donated before and were eligible for shared cycles. Of the half dozen or so who met this criteria, how do I say this and be politically correct? Oh well when have I ever been politically correct? Let's just say they were quite diverse. My sister is now having dreams about me giving birth to Hispanic children!
I also discovered that my husband has some definite ideas about what qualities he would chose in a donor. It became painfully clear that the highly intelligent, good natured, round faced, pale skinned, preferably dimpled little girl is not standing by and waiting to give her eggs to us. So where do we go from here?
It becomes really perverse, when you start thinking of your friends and family members not as beloved family but as potential sources of prime donor eggs. Here is my husband thinking aloud. Maybe we can find a law student or young lawyer from Berkeley or Stanford who has a lot of debt to pay off and could use the money and would not mind helping a friend. Wait, we do know someone like that.....husband, I can use my sister as a donor, but you can't!
So, if any of you would like to volunteer your friends or family, please enclose 2 baby pictures, health records, and an essay on the value of egg donation........
I guess I will go back to looking at the diverse donors available at our clinic. Adios!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Looking ahead
It is hard to look ahead when your insurance has still not paid what is behind! SIGH! Also, that lingering Beta can go away very soon as well.
I think as far as we are concerned, having a child is one of the most important things to us right now. Everything else can come in time, but given the small window of opportunity remaining open to us, the time is now or never for a child.
Now comes the hard decisions, how to move forward. Picking a young donor is best for egg numbers and egg quality. Picking a total stranger is even more difficult. Do you look strictly at age, success in prior cycles, physical characteristics, academic achievement, family values?? What about sharing the cost and sharing the eggs with another couple? I suppose I want a baby who at least resembles me, but is that what is really important?
The nice thing is, I do not have to make all the decisions all by myself! It is nice to have a husband in times like these!
Theresa
I think as far as we are concerned, having a child is one of the most important things to us right now. Everything else can come in time, but given the small window of opportunity remaining open to us, the time is now or never for a child.
Now comes the hard decisions, how to move forward. Picking a young donor is best for egg numbers and egg quality. Picking a total stranger is even more difficult. Do you look strictly at age, success in prior cycles, physical characteristics, academic achievement, family values?? What about sharing the cost and sharing the eggs with another couple? I suppose I want a baby who at least resembles me, but is that what is really important?
The nice thing is, I do not have to make all the decisions all by myself! It is nice to have a husband in times like these!
Theresa
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
24 hours (not as exciting as the tv show)
I have slept almost 24 hours solid, and even though I still have a cough and a scratchy voice, I am feeling a lot better!
I think I just needed to lay low and let the body heal itself. I know the stress has been incredible over the past couple of weeks and I needed to give in and just sleep! My hubby said. "you are a good sleeper, I wish I could sleep like you" I fortunately am susceptible to the sleepy effect of Benadryl, he on the other hand stays up all night if he takes it. Not a fair world.
He is a day or 2 behind me so hopefully he will feel better soon as well!
Theresa
I think I just needed to lay low and let the body heal itself. I know the stress has been incredible over the past couple of weeks and I needed to give in and just sleep! My hubby said. "you are a good sleeper, I wish I could sleep like you" I fortunately am susceptible to the sleepy effect of Benadryl, he on the other hand stays up all night if he takes it. Not a fair world.
He is a day or 2 behind me so hopefully he will feel better soon as well!
Theresa
Monday, February 18, 2008
Stupid Cold...
I have succeeded in giving my cold to my husband, so we can be miserable together! (sigh) With his cold he has managed to work the entire day, and do odd jobs around the house. I on the other hand have been dosing myself with copious amounts of Nyquil. I believe I am a bit of an underachiever. I have slept so much today. Nyquil has definitely been my friend. My nose, head, chest, and throat cheer when I take it, even if my taste buds are screaming!
Thanks to my sister-in-law Sarah for entertaining Katie!
Theresa
Thanks to my sister-in-law Sarah for entertaining Katie!
Theresa
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Trying to get back to normal....
My husband has several family members in the area. His Mom also came
into town this weekend. While they have been here, I have spent most
of the weekend reading, and sleeping, anything to escape the pain. All
weekend they wanted to get together for dinner, I just could not do it.
My in-laws were very kind. Instead of going out to dinner they
ordered dinner in at my sister-in-laws house because I was afraid of
breaking up in public. They also carefully avoided too many I'm
sorries and how are you doings. We just ate food and talked and
generally had a nice time. It was to be a celebration dinner for our
pregnancy, Matthew's sister's engagement, and brother's anniversary.
fortunately there were no toasts with awkward gaps. I am so glad I
went, I actually considered not going. My daughter also spent the
night with Matthew's sister, who is so much cooler than we are.
Yes the world will get back to normal, it is just hard to see it from
here. One day at a time!
Theresa
into town this weekend. While they have been here, I have spent most
of the weekend reading, and sleeping, anything to escape the pain. All
weekend they wanted to get together for dinner, I just could not do it.
My in-laws were very kind. Instead of going out to dinner they
ordered dinner in at my sister-in-laws house because I was afraid of
breaking up in public. They also carefully avoided too many I'm
sorries and how are you doings. We just ate food and talked and
generally had a nice time. It was to be a celebration dinner for our
pregnancy, Matthew's sister's engagement, and brother's anniversary.
fortunately there were no toasts with awkward gaps. I am so glad I
went, I actually considered not going. My daughter also spent the
night with Matthew's sister, who is so much cooler than we are.
Yes the world will get back to normal, it is just hard to see it from
here. One day at a time!
Theresa
Way TMI and Graphic
As expected after a couple of days of spotting, my period/miscarriage
came last night. I knew it was coming but I was not ready for what it
brought. I awoke in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom.
There on the top of the pad was what I am sure was the embryo/baby. I
have never seen anything like it before. It was white almost pearly
and smaller than the eraser of a mechanical pencil. I was paralyzed,
what do i do with it. Flush it, throw it away? So in the end I just
wrapped it carefully in toilet paper and threw it away and went back
to bed. I woke my husband and told him. He patted me. I am almost
paralyzed today. I need to get a hold of myself, but i just keep
falling apart.
My heart hurts.
came last night. I knew it was coming but I was not ready for what it
brought. I awoke in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom.
There on the top of the pad was what I am sure was the embryo/baby. I
have never seen anything like it before. It was white almost pearly
and smaller than the eraser of a mechanical pencil. I was paralyzed,
what do i do with it. Flush it, throw it away? So in the end I just
wrapped it carefully in toilet paper and threw it away and went back
to bed. I woke my husband and told him. He patted me. I am almost
paralyzed today. I need to get a hold of myself, but i just keep
falling apart.
My heart hurts.
Friday, February 15, 2008
How I am feeling tonight....
For those of you wondering how I am feeling tonight, I thought I would provide you with an update. In addition to my fertility related woes I have come down with a terrible upper respiratory infection!
1. I have a constant dull headache.
2. I have vomited twice.
3. I have a sore throat.
4. Mucous, need I say more?
5. Coughing.
6. Spent much of evening on couch covered with blanket with head on husband's lap.
7. A bit weary, sad, achy, heavy, and empty feeling.
8. I also feel very loved and very lucky!
9. I think tomorrow I am going to buy some Sleepy time tea, that sounds yummy!
10. Sleepy too...goodnight!
LOVE to all!
Theresa
1. I have a constant dull headache.
2. I have vomited twice.
3. I have a sore throat.
4. Mucous, need I say more?
5. Coughing.
6. Spent much of evening on couch covered with blanket with head on husband's lap.
7. A bit weary, sad, achy, heavy, and empty feeling.
8. I also feel very loved and very lucky!
9. I think tomorrow I am going to buy some Sleepy time tea, that sounds yummy!
10. Sleepy too...goodnight!
LOVE to all!
Theresa
Patient comments
While we were at the MD's office today, he turned around his computer screen and reviewed our cycle with us. I was so busy inspecting the numbers and embryo quality information that I missed the the most humorous part. Thankfully, my keen eyed husband was there to let me know what it said in the patient comment section.
Pt-RN nervous
Everyone who works in the health care field knows what this code means.
Patient is a bossy, opinionated, psychotic pain in the ass. Just let her tell you how to do your job and she will be happy! Also, she cries lots!
Oh well, I told you nurses are the worst patients.
Pt-RN nervous
Everyone who works in the health care field knows what this code means.
Patient is a bossy, opinionated, psychotic pain in the ass. Just let her tell you how to do your job and she will be happy! Also, she cries lots!
Oh well, I told you nurses are the worst patients.
Faith, Hope, and Love
Today this chapter of our quest for a baby came to an end. An ultrasound showed what we feared, an empty womb. There are many tears left to shed, and many hours left to grieve. Though our hearts are heavy, we still have so much for which to be thankful.
I have faith, even though I do not understand why this has happened, that God has a plan for me and my family. I do believe the rainbow was a sign for me just as it was for Noah that brighter days are to come. I have hope that his plan will be revealed to me in a real and meaningful way. And most importantly, I am surrounded by love. God's love, Matthew's love, Katie's love, Dawn's love and the love of the many people all over who have taken a moment of their time to say a prayer for us, or give a hug, or say a kind word.
We thank each of you from the bottom of our hearts!
Theresa, Matthew, & Katie
I have faith, even though I do not understand why this has happened, that God has a plan for me and my family. I do believe the rainbow was a sign for me just as it was for Noah that brighter days are to come. I have hope that his plan will be revealed to me in a real and meaningful way. And most importantly, I am surrounded by love. God's love, Matthew's love, Katie's love, Dawn's love and the love of the many people all over who have taken a moment of their time to say a prayer for us, or give a hug, or say a kind word.
We thank each of you from the bottom of our hearts!
Theresa, Matthew, & Katie
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
beta is 252
I am so sorry everyone, it looks like this may not be meant to be.
I should be somewhere over 700 at this point and it just is not doubling.
Friday we go for an ultrasound at 2:30 and we will know for sure then.
In the mean time I plan on looking around me at all the blessings I have in my life. Who would have imagined how far I have come. I still have my rainbow too. I will never forget it/her/him/them.
Thanks for all the love and prayers. God is still very good!
Theresa
I should be somewhere over 700 at this point and it just is not doubling.
Friday we go for an ultrasound at 2:30 and we will know for sure then.
In the mean time I plan on looking around me at all the blessings I have in my life. Who would have imagined how far I have come. I still have my rainbow too. I will never forget it/her/him/them.
Thanks for all the love and prayers. God is still very good!
Theresa
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Q&A
Here is a copy of an email I sent to my MD, he called me and we discussed the answers, which are noted in red below.
1. The US that is done prior to the MTX injection, will it tell definitively if this is a tubal vs uterine pregnancy? Small changes in the lining of the endometrium may be viewed if the embryo is indeed in the uterus. We will not see an embryo and possibly not a sac, but there can be endometrium changes that are visable.
2. If not, when can we tell by ultrasound if this is a tubal or uterine pregnancy? Should be able to tell the day of the US
3. If the pregnancy is not developing appropriately, and it is not a tubal pregnancy, then what is the harm in letting the body naturally miscarry?
No problem doing this if it makes me more comfortable
4. What are the risks and advantages to having the MTX injection? Biggest benefit is if there is a tubal pregnancy avoids a potentially life-threatening situation
5. Do you have a copy of the informed consent that you can send to me to view ahead of time? Sent to me via email
6. Matthew indicated that according to Dr. Galen the count needed to be 350 or greater on Wednesday. What if it is something like 317? Do we still give up? The likelihood of failed pregnancy is great if numbers are not doubled at this time, however, given that it is uterine, I can carry it until it naturally miscarries.
I do not want to take the MTX unless absolutely necessary. To me absolutely necessary means that my life is in imminent danger, not a 5-6% risk of danger from a tubal pregnancy that may or may not exist. The choice is always mine, this is just what he recommends
Women not receiving IVF get one positive pregnancy test, are told to take their vitamins, and not seen for another month by their OB/GYN. I am not sure what the rush is with an IVF cycle. There are higher instances of tubal pregnancies with tubal reversals and IVF, both of which I have.
I know I am being difficult, nurses are the worst patients, and I need all the information to make a good decision. We all know this is true!
Thanks,
Theresa
1. The US that is done prior to the MTX injection, will it tell definitively if this is a tubal vs uterine pregnancy? Small changes in the lining of the endometrium may be viewed if the embryo is indeed in the uterus. We will not see an embryo and possibly not a sac, but there can be endometrium changes that are visable.
2. If not, when can we tell by ultrasound if this is a tubal or uterine pregnancy? Should be able to tell the day of the US
3. If the pregnancy is not developing appropriately, and it is not a tubal pregnancy, then what is the harm in letting the body naturally miscarry?
No problem doing this if it makes me more comfortable
4. What are the risks and advantages to having the MTX injection? Biggest benefit is if there is a tubal pregnancy avoids a potentially life-threatening situation
5. Do you have a copy of the informed consent that you can send to me to view ahead of time? Sent to me via email
6. Matthew indicated that according to Dr. Galen the count needed to be 350 or greater on Wednesday. What if it is something like 317? Do we still give up? The likelihood of failed pregnancy is great if numbers are not doubled at this time, however, given that it is uterine, I can carry it until it naturally miscarries.
I do not want to take the MTX unless absolutely necessary. To me absolutely necessary means that my life is in imminent danger, not a 5-6% risk of danger from a tubal pregnancy that may or may not exist. The choice is always mine, this is just what he recommends
Women not receiving IVF get one positive pregnancy test, are told to take their vitamins, and not seen for another month by their OB/GYN. I am not sure what the rush is with an IVF cycle. There are higher instances of tubal pregnancies with tubal reversals and IVF, both of which I have.
I know I am being difficult, nurses are the worst patients, and I need all the information to make a good decision. We all know this is true!
Thanks,
Theresa
Monday, February 11, 2008
4th beta?
Today we are 171. Still failing to double. The MD is going to do one final HCG on Wednesday. If HCG fails to increase significantly then wemost likely have a tubal pregnancy or non-viable fetus. If that is the case the pregnancy will have to be aborted. I am so sad, but praying for a miracle.
Theresa
Theresa
3rd beta today
I am on my way to the MD office for my 3rd beta. Come on little one
let's see some doubling action from you!
I just keep reminding myself how blessed I already am, and pray for
the best. I feel quite peaceful this morning, I hope that is a good sign.
I have appreciated all the kind words of support over the last few
weeks. Thanks to all of you for being here!
Wish me luck,
Theresa
let's see some doubling action from you!
I just keep reminding myself how blessed I already am, and pray for
the best. I feel quite peaceful this morning, I hope that is a good sign.
I have appreciated all the kind words of support over the last few
weeks. Thanks to all of you for being here!
Wish me luck,
Theresa
Friday, February 8, 2008
HCG Calculator
Here is a link that I was directed to by one of the members of my Mothers Via Egg Donation yahoo group.
http://babymed.com/tools/pregnancy/hcg/
I was 60 at 14 DPO and 95 2 days later
I did my numbers and although the comments said slower than expected growth with 95, it said adequate with 96. We are not that far off the mark, and I am really feeling positive this time. I feel pregnant, last night I was even in the bathroom having dry heaves. I am tired, have heartburn, and I am short of breath. I am listening to my body, it is saying you are pregnant girl!
And besides, what control do I have over it anyway? It is what it is and I can't change it. We have never gotten this far before and even if it does not work out, I have to keep reminding myself that we are truly blessed!
HUGS!
Theresa
http://babymed.com/tools/pregnancy/hcg/
I was 60 at 14 DPO and 95 2 days later
I did my numbers and although the comments said slower than expected growth with 95, it said adequate with 96. We are not that far off the mark, and I am really feeling positive this time. I feel pregnant, last night I was even in the bathroom having dry heaves. I am tired, have heartburn, and I am short of breath. I am listening to my body, it is saying you are pregnant girl!
And besides, what control do I have over it anyway? It is what it is and I can't change it. We have never gotten this far before and even if it does not work out, I have to keep reminding myself that we are truly blessed!
HUGS!
Theresa
beta did not double
As you may remember on Wednesday I was 60, today I am 95. So....we get to wait some more! We are re-testing on Monday, to see how the numbers look then. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride!
We may just be slow to attach, or we may be having early signs of possible miscarriage.
PLEASE PLEASE keep the prayers and good thoughts coming.
I will keep you all posted.
Theresa
We may just be slow to attach, or we may be having early signs of possible miscarriage.
PLEASE PLEASE keep the prayers and good thoughts coming.
I will keep you all posted.
Theresa
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The Story (this is long)
I am sorry I did not write this yesterday, but I was so exhausted last night I went to bed early.
Yesterday morning when I woke up there was a pit in my stomach. I knew what was ahead of me and I dreaded it, but there was some comfort in knowing that the wait would soon be over. It was thankfully a rather warm morning considering the early hour, and I was pleased that at least I was not chilly as I hoped started the min-van and opened the garage door.
The RE office is about a 30 minute trip from our home if the traffic is light. Thank goodness at 6:15 am that was indeed the case. I quickly calculated the time change, in GA it would be just after 9:00 am and my sister would be at work. I called her cell and got her message. I had hoped she would be available, but I knew she probably had clients to see. Thankfully, she called back moments later and chatted casually about the Super Tuesday results to keep me distracted. She was only partially successful. I would keep interjecting comments like, "I am scared." No, I was not as scared of the thought of having John McCain as the Republican nominee in the fall as I was of the blood test results that I would discover in a few hours.
I arrived at the clinic right at 7:00 am and checked in. I solemnly marched to the lab. Because of the early hour, I was the first patient. The young guy who took my blood was very pleasant, but the big picture of the fertilized eggs on the wall behind him was rather distracting. He had to stick me twice, but I did not even care. I just wanted to get on my way to work.
This was not my usual way to work. I had to go through the Caldecott Tunnel from San Ramon to Oakland and there is always a wait to go through. As I waited the most magical thing happened, a huge rainbow appeared in the sky over the road. I knew right then no matter what the results were, I was going to be ok. God has a plan for me.
I was met at work with problems as soon as I entered the door. The next 3 hour flew by, and when my pager went off at 10:00am I was so shocked. I said aloud to my office mates, this is it as I grabbed my cell with my shaking hands. I made my way to the break room to return the page. My hands were shaking so badly that I could not dial the phone, I could barely focus as I looked several times back and forth from my shaking pager to my shaking phone trying to make the call. Thankfully, the phone rang and I heard the voice of my RE on the other end of the line.
He said I paged you a few minutes ago, but had not heard back so I called the cell phone. I explained that I was holding the phone, but I was shaking so badly I could not complete the call. He said I am here with Susan and we have some good news for you, I am going to put you on speaker phone. I started saying, oh my God really. I heard the speaker phone engage and I was greeted by Susan as well. He had me tell her what I had just told him about trying to make the call. I knew by her joyful laugh that they indeed had good news.
He wet on to say the beta was 60, which was a good number for a first reading, and that I would need another test in a couple of days to make sure it was doubling appropriately. I was shaking and crying, I am not sure what exactly I said, but I think I professed my love for them at the conclusion of the call.
As soon as I rounded the corner to my office I gave the 2 thumbs up and the celebration started. Hugs, and cheers, and joyful calls began. We made so much noise that a nurse from the nearby pain clinic came over to see if we were ok!
What a wonderful and miraculous day! Thanks to all for hanging in there with me through all this. Your encouragement and support has carried me though. HUGS to all!
Theresa
Yesterday morning when I woke up there was a pit in my stomach. I knew what was ahead of me and I dreaded it, but there was some comfort in knowing that the wait would soon be over. It was thankfully a rather warm morning considering the early hour, and I was pleased that at least I was not chilly as I hoped started the min-van and opened the garage door.
The RE office is about a 30 minute trip from our home if the traffic is light. Thank goodness at 6:15 am that was indeed the case. I quickly calculated the time change, in GA it would be just after 9:00 am and my sister would be at work. I called her cell and got her message. I had hoped she would be available, but I knew she probably had clients to see. Thankfully, she called back moments later and chatted casually about the Super Tuesday results to keep me distracted. She was only partially successful. I would keep interjecting comments like, "I am scared." No, I was not as scared of the thought of having John McCain as the Republican nominee in the fall as I was of the blood test results that I would discover in a few hours.
I arrived at the clinic right at 7:00 am and checked in. I solemnly marched to the lab. Because of the early hour, I was the first patient. The young guy who took my blood was very pleasant, but the big picture of the fertilized eggs on the wall behind him was rather distracting. He had to stick me twice, but I did not even care. I just wanted to get on my way to work.
This was not my usual way to work. I had to go through the Caldecott Tunnel from San Ramon to Oakland and there is always a wait to go through. As I waited the most magical thing happened, a huge rainbow appeared in the sky over the road. I knew right then no matter what the results were, I was going to be ok. God has a plan for me.
I was met at work with problems as soon as I entered the door. The next 3 hour flew by, and when my pager went off at 10:00am I was so shocked. I said aloud to my office mates, this is it as I grabbed my cell with my shaking hands. I made my way to the break room to return the page. My hands were shaking so badly that I could not dial the phone, I could barely focus as I looked several times back and forth from my shaking pager to my shaking phone trying to make the call. Thankfully, the phone rang and I heard the voice of my RE on the other end of the line.
He said I paged you a few minutes ago, but had not heard back so I called the cell phone. I explained that I was holding the phone, but I was shaking so badly I could not complete the call. He said I am here with Susan and we have some good news for you, I am going to put you on speaker phone. I started saying, oh my God really. I heard the speaker phone engage and I was greeted by Susan as well. He had me tell her what I had just told him about trying to make the call. I knew by her joyful laugh that they indeed had good news.
He wet on to say the beta was 60, which was a good number for a first reading, and that I would need another test in a couple of days to make sure it was doubling appropriately. I was shaking and crying, I am not sure what exactly I said, but I think I professed my love for them at the conclusion of the call.
As soon as I rounded the corner to my office I gave the 2 thumbs up and the celebration started. Hugs, and cheers, and joyful calls began. We made so much noise that a nurse from the nearby pain clinic came over to see if we were ok!
What a wonderful and miraculous day! Thanks to all for hanging in there with me through all this. Your encouragement and support has carried me though. HUGS to all!
Theresa
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Beta is 60
As of now, we are pregnant!
Woo-hoo!
Do not even ask me my opinion of home pregnancy tests!
Theresa
Woo-hoo!
Do not even ask me my opinion of home pregnancy tests!
Theresa
Beta is today!
I called my nurse case manager yesterday, whom I really like, and asked her about the process today. She said they would draw the blood this morning and run the specimens sometime before noon.
She said after that she would let me decide how to handle the communication process. I will be at work and i would just assume not fall apart at my desk.
I am sending her the following e-mail. This is the plan I figured out with my office mates. I figure for the morning staying busy at work is my best bet!
Susan,
Thanks for taking the time to call me back so late yesterday. I am very realistic but hopeful about the results today. Please know if I am less than gracious or short when you call it is just in a posture of self-preservation, I appreciate everything you have done for both Dawn and me!
Here are the directions.
1) Page me when you have the results at
2) I will go to lunch so I have an hour to adjust to whatever the news is.
3) I will then decide whether to return to work or declare a mental health day considering my state of being.
Thanks again for everything!
Theresa
PS- Dawn says hello! She wants to know if you miss her too!
Prayers and good thoughts no matter the outcome are always appreciated!
She said after that she would let me decide how to handle the communication process. I will be at work and i would just assume not fall apart at my desk.
I am sending her the following e-mail. This is the plan I figured out with my office mates. I figure for the morning staying busy at work is my best bet!
Susan,
Thanks for taking the time to call me back so late yesterday. I am very realistic but hopeful about the results today. Please know if I am less than gracious or short when you call it is just in a posture of self-preservation, I appreciate everything you have done for both Dawn and me!
Here are the directions.
1) Page me when you have the results at
2) I will go to lunch so I have an hour to adjust to whatever the news is.
3) I will then decide whether to return to work or declare a mental health day considering my state of being.
Thanks again for everything!
Theresa
PS- Dawn says hello! She wants to know if you miss her too!
Prayers and good thoughts no matter the outcome are always appreciated!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
One day until beta
Nothing new to report. HPT is unchanged.
I can feel this weighing on me. I have been on the verge of tears since last night.
I am glad we will know one way or the other tomorrow.
Theresa
I can feel this weighing on me. I have been on the verge of tears since last night.
I am glad we will know one way or the other tomorrow.
Theresa
Monday, February 4, 2008
Emotional
No very faint line, nothing except the single dark control line. We keep trying to focus on the positive, but I have to admit I am a little sad. Husband is great,, I am so lucky to have him, all I hear is, "I love you so much!" He is under a lot of stress at work and yet somehow he remains so supportive. I on the other hand and the emotional one. He is ready to throw the HPTs out the door and wait for the beta.
Two more days until the beta. Will stay positive but realistic. I find it helpful to think of all options. Part of me says now you can go to grad school. The other part of me says, give it one more try. This was our first donor egg cycle. What if we went to the best clinic in the country and had a previous donor who produced tons of egg that fertilized on her previous cycles? Would that make a difference or are we just wasting our money?
So many unanswered questions.
Thanks to my sister for being on the phone with me for many hours this weekend, I am so lucky to have you. You are always there when I need you the most!
Theresa
Two more days until the beta. Will stay positive but realistic. I find it helpful to think of all options. Part of me says now you can go to grad school. The other part of me says, give it one more try. This was our first donor egg cycle. What if we went to the best clinic in the country and had a previous donor who produced tons of egg that fertilized on her previous cycles? Would that make a difference or are we just wasting our money?
So many unanswered questions.
Thanks to my sister for being on the phone with me for many hours this weekend, I am so lucky to have you. You are always there when I need you the most!
Theresa
Monday HPT? Your guessed it!
Not yet positive. :(
We are holding out hope until the blood test on Wednesday.
Sigh....
We are holding out hope until the blood test on Wednesday.
Sigh....
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Nothing brewing yet!
Saturday's HPT (home pregnancy test) is not yet positive.
Will keep you posted of any changes.
It is still early and we are not giving up hope until after the beta (blood pregnancy test) on Wednesday!
Today is 10 DPO (days past ovulation)
Keep up the good thoughts and prayers, everyone of you and them is appreciated!
Theresa
Will keep you posted of any changes.
It is still early and we are not giving up hope until after the beta (blood pregnancy test) on Wednesday!
Today is 10 DPO (days past ovulation)
Keep up the good thoughts and prayers, everyone of you and them is appreciated!
Theresa
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